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Strangers to our Age

Chenise is my bus stop buddy. She had met me exactly three times at the bus stop on the way to school. This means, in her eyes, that I am no longer a stranger and she can talk to me now.

"Do you know how to fix the time on a watch?" she asks.

"Yes," I respond.

"Then can you fix mine?" she asks again, holding out the wrist with the watch. The wrist is very tiny and the watch a little big. I set her watch exactly ten minutes slower than mine. My watch is always ten minutes fast, because, while I may know how to fix watches, I do not know how to fix my tendency to be late.

"Mama got it off lay away for me. It cost 14 dollars. It would have been 39 dollars, but it was on sale. Mama canceled all her other layaways," Chenise tells me. I also learn that Chenise's mother named her Chenise to rhyme with her mother's name Denise, and that this weekend the two of them are going on a church sponsored mother daughter retreat. And that the church is just down the street. And that today is picture taking day at school, so her hair - which I complimented her on - is done especially well, but that she is worried that sleeping on it may have ruined it.

I assure her, her hair is not ruined.

Chenise goes on to tell me how far I can get on the number 8 bus - I take the number 14 - just in case I miss my own bus someday. She also tells me that she goes to Thurogood Marshall School, which used to require uniforms, but now has a simple dress code. I learn that her mother is in the air force, is approximately my age, and is going to retire soon because she joined when she was 18.

All in all, it was a delightful conversation which brightened my morning considerably. I was amazed at her enthusiasm and joy at the details of life. I hate the drudgery of waiting for the bus in the morning, but this morning, I got on the bus with a smile and a light heart.

I recently attended a lecture at the University of Washington on women in the middle east in which the speaker compared the segregation of the sexes in the middle east to the segregation of the very old and the very young in America. And I couldn't help but wonder - why would we want less of Chenise in our lives?

I do not have any children. I can't have them, though I would like to. And I am not the type of woman to spend a lot of money on fertility - there are too many children living in poverty for me to bring another one into the world. I am still living on modest means, but David and I hope to have foster children when our means improve.

So there are things we learn from children that I don't get the benefit of learning, except by chance meetings with children who decide not to be afraid of strangers. And, with my mother and grand mother dead, I can't tell you the number of times I have wished for someone older and wiser to talk to about what to do with the next stage of my life, only to find that I know hardly anyone who fits the bill.

Why? Why would we want to deprive ourselves of such riches as the young and the old have to offer us?

Do we get away just because we can? Is it only necessity that keeps communities with closer ties together? When you hear interviews in countries that are overcrowded, the first thing they talk about is wanting more space. Yet in cultures where they do not have the luxury of as much space, the old, the young, and the middle aged are simply stirred up in one big pot. Sometimes getting along, sometimes not. Sometimes helping each other, sometimes driving each other crazy.

When someone's baby cries in a restaurant or a theater, we think "They should have left them at home, with a sitter." When our in-laws or parents scold us as though we were still children, we are desperate to get away.

I wonder if it is natural to spread out from the inconvenience of family obligation, to stick to people of our own generation, with the same complaints and tastes that we have - even though we learn nothing new from them.

I've been told that people in the middle east see America as a vast sea of single mothers. And, though we are not all single mothers, we are a very singular people.

My grandmother would not come and live with me. She said she was too independent and I really wanted her, but I had to respect her wishes.

My mother-in-law is a great pain in the ass. We live several hundred miles away, but David calls her every week without fail. She talks for about 45 minutes straight and David says 'Uh-huh' a lot, as pleasantly as he can. She has lost the ability to listen to others, if she ever had it. But the last time I was with her, I tried to set my frustration aside and see what there was to learn from this woman who had lived so many more years than I had.

She is very much like a child. She wants to be loved, to go for walks and see animals in the forest. She crosses her legs every so often so that she doesn't pee along the way. She holds my hand and chatters incessantly. Not unlike Chemise. She keeps trying to tell everyone to slow down.

Ok, so if she's yours she's a darling and if she's mine she's a pain in the ass.

But maybe that's normal too. Maybe we need to learn extra patience for those closest to us because we have expectations for them that they don't live up to, and because, at the end of the day, we're stuck with them. She is still welcome in my home should she ever want or need to be. She will never go into a nursing home. She will live with us.

Because I don't know what she may teach me in the last years of her life.
But I'm going to allow myself to find out.

by

Sarah Byam
25th November, 2001

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