Irish Election Speak Translated

When an electorate who claimed to have been at the point of revolt over the state of the health service can proceed to return the main government party with an increased vote, you have to wonder if people aren’t completely full of crap when they talk about their political views and intentions. I always had a sneaking suspicion that people only pretended to be angry about health because that’s what the media told them everyone else was angry about. Meanwhile, their true intentions remained a secret until the votes were counted
This would be of a piece with the general mendacity of the Irish people, a populace that lies so much we’ve turned it into a language. Foreigners are often mystified by us saying one thing and doing another, but even natives need occasional guidance in translating Irish Election Speak:

“They’re all the same, I spoiled my vote???
I don’t know anything about politics, but like to dress up my ignorance as sophisticated cynicism.

“They’re all the same, I didn’t vote???
I couldn’t get it together to register, let alone vote, but like to dress up my laziness as sophisticated cynicism.

“Stick to what you know, the opposition are untested.???
I lack imagination to a degree that is almost sinister, and consequently only ever vote for the incumbent.

“I used to be idealistic, but I’ve been getting more conservative as I get older???
I have never had an idealistic thought or impulse in my life, and have never voted for anyone other than Fianna Fail.

“I don’t think the main parties are focussing on the real issues???
I am obsessed with one or both of the following: abortion, the north.

“I’m going to think carefully about the issues before I make up my mind???
I will vote Fianna Fail, as always.

“I usually vote Fianna Fail, but this time I’m not sure???
Just kidding, of course I’m voting Fianna Fail.

“I have no real party ties???
I am a fully paid up member of Fianna Fail

11 Comments

  • EWI says:

    Lol 😉 Seriously, though, it can’t be all bad when the PD’s get thrashed, especially that c*nt McDowell. Will Labour or the Greens be in coalition next with FF? If so, we may (I hope) see better government.

    “I don’t think the main parties are focussing on the real issues???
    I am obsessed with one or both of the following: abortion, the north.

    I’ve no idea where you’ve gotten this one from, Fergal. I’ve not heard a single (non-politician) person mention either of these.

  • Fergal says:

    http://unitedirelander.blogspot.com/2007/03/union-is-far-from-safe.html

    “I enjoyed last night’s edition of Questions and Answers on RTE. Usually I find myself bored with the show what with the constant talk of issues like health, education, crime, finance etc.”

  • chekov says:

    ““They’re all the same, I spoiled my vote??? I don’t know anything about politics, but like to dress up my ignorance as sophisticated cynicism.”

    You can sometimes find wisdom in ignorance. You don’t have to know much about weaving patterns to spot a naked emporer.

  • celtictigger says:

    I think the collapse of Sinn Fein’s vote was interesting. Either the politics of partition are still in place and the voters of this republic objected to an MP of Her Majesty’s House of Commons directly meddling in the affairs of our state or people just felt that they have their own parliament now and don’t need ours anymore.

    Mary Lou’s speech was interesting in that the only Republican slogan I didn’t hear used was ‘Tiocfaidh ár lá’. Comparing the SF poll results to the blood sacrifice of 1916 was a nice touch.

    However, she still has her MEP seat. She hasn’t gone away you know….

    And as for Michael McDowell… when he left the RDS was Frank McNamara following behind playing the mournful closing theme from the Incredible Hulk TV show… http://www.elite.net/~gurpal/tv/hulk.mid

  • Garreth says:

    I have to agree that Irish people appear to say one thing to opinion researchers and then do something else – or they do nothing. Like being sympathetic towards Irish language but not bothering their barney to speak it. I get tired of listening to numbers crunchers and feel such people get more airtime than they deserve. There should be a scientific opinion poll on attitudes to opinion polls. Wasn’t that a great belly flop by Mary Lou and some other SF candidates?

  • auds says:

    I disagree that FF voters have a lack of imagination. Part of the disconnect between the grumbling disagreement prior to the election and the result is no doubt due to the influence of the meedja in some way making anti-FF the default, clever poisiton. The last US presidental was similar in that, there was also a sense of “who the hell voted this way?”.

    And in an unrelated note, I know one of your friends. In person, in the real world.

  • Fergal Crehan says:

    As you can see Auds I offered lack of imagination as only one of several possible reasons people voted FF, amongst many more that I didn’t mention. I was referring more generally to people who only ever vote for the government no matter who the parties in power are.

    “And in an unrelated note, I know one of your friends. In person, in the real world.”

    This would be a medical person I suspect?

  • copernicus says:

    Auds people don’t take issue with FF out of a sense of contrariness as you imply. The party has an appalling record of putting the petty interests of its members and their industrial helpmeets before those of the people of this Republic every single time.

    The problem with people on the right is that they attribute their own cheerleading, identity-based approach to politics to their opponents. But that atmosphere is not found among the commentators here.

  • auds says:

    Actually a law person (well, people, pleural)

  • auds says:

    Not only has my grammar gone to hell, so has my spelling. I actually thought that’s how pleural was spelt in the real world, but it’s just the medical world.

    And copernicus, the gist of my point (or the intended gist anyway) was more about the fact that there seems to be a sense of suprise that FF got as many votes as they did.

  • copernicus says:

    I know what your point was. I was making a different one based on the implication in your comment. That’s why I used the word “imply”. To distinguish your implicit from your express point.

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